I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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