Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
