he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
