I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
