just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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