my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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