I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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