At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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