eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
