Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
