I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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