guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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