i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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