i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
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i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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