why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
