He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
