She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
