so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
