So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
