Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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