We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
