I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
