thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
