I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
