apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
