4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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