good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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