I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't deserve a penis
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
