Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
