GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
