she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
