I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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