wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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