wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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