FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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