my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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