i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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