Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
