My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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