He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
