so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
