but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
