yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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