In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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