Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
