Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
