Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
