why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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