I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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