he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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