he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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