I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
