And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
