He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
