erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
