Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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