it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
