Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
